Go Go Commerce!

Like Nike needs my help in promoting this ad. But this is so classic, I have to post it. This is that strain of Nike ad-making that fueled the business up until recently, and helped create players as much as they helped create it. "The LeBrons" picked it up briefly, but this confirms what I'd been hearing: That these companies know the demand is there, and have been trying to get back to this. I definitely attribute this to Twitter, though not Obama; not sure how my theory about those two phenomena works when you introduce a third element. Regardless, this is the shit, even if it's somewhat redolent of past Undrcrwn efforts.

Stray thoughts:

-The mystery of Shard continues. I only found out recently that, rather than speaking in an affect-less whisper, dude has a thick Houston accent. How I didn't know this until recently is anyone's guess. But now he goes and raps in a way that in no way indicates his regional roots. This isn't a referendum on his skill as a rapper, though I guess bad rappers sound more generic. Just surprised me, in the same way that Delonte's bland freestyle voice did. Iverson should've set the precedent on this one!

-Where's the part, mentioned on Mo Williams's Twitter, where Iguodala saves AutoTune from stagnation? Now he doesn't even get a verse?

-Lewis looks most costumed. Williams, like that's what he wears around the house. Durant makes me think about what this ad means to people who aren't old enough to get all the references (includng him).

-Spent last night in the ID looking at Japanese teen fashion magazine. That's kind of the vibe I get from this.

-Never have I felt less like the ad world needed me. And I think that's a good thing.

-Is there going to be a backlash that demands more differentiation between West/East, or Afrocentric/gangster? It is all kind of lumped together. That's what makes the ad so great to me, but to the purist, it could be dangerous.

-Is this archaeology, a la the Jordan 9th game vid, or self-aware nostalgia?

-Mainstream-ing after the fact? Not that this stuff was so inaccessible, but rap's definitely bigger now than then.

-Back to the previous question: Exoticism, roots, or both?

-Finally: Missed opportunity that Ice Cube and Kobe appears in a Nike SB ad but failed to address the 3x2, to my mind the defining ball moment of West Coast hip-hop?

RETURN OF THE LIVE BLOG

In typical FD fashion, we decided to chat the NBA Draft Lottery, but not the first game of Nuggets/Lakers. Shoals had zingers galore, Ty Keenan dropped PAC-10 knowledge, Dr. LIC made several WILD-ASS claims, and I took dictation.

Shoals: What would make this lottery exciting? I think if a team jumped, I'd be yelling like a cow. Could anything else?

Ty Keenan: If we're going for drama, there is a potentially interesting situation if the Warriors get #2, because Dan Fegan is Rubio and Al Harrington's agent.

Recluse: Who gets Rubio is the most (only?) exciting thing about this draft.

Shoals: Ricky Rubio has a woman's desperation in his eyes

Dr. LIC: Ricky Rubio's nickname is FOOLZ GOLD.


Shoals: Is there any chance David Stern doesn't have mob connections? I mean, really.

Recluse: "We never lose date smackdowns"!!!!!!

Shoals: What else makes a man that short that confident?

Recluse: A HUGE COCK

Shoals: Welcome to the terrordome. I mean, synagogue.



Shoals: Are there still actual balls?

Ty Keenan: I think it's numbered balls that come out in a sequence, and the sequence corresponds to a team.

Shoals: That sounds like some crazy robot shit, not a bingo machine.

Recluse: Brandon Jennings's Twitter is the best thing ever, by the way.

Shoals: I just realized that his Twitter actually is an oracle of sorts tonight.

Recluse: Brandon Jennings is smart. I kind of can't believe he got an SAT score red-flagged. Maybe he got a legitimately high score? Check it:

"Most Important thing about the Draft/NBA, Get on a TEAM that fits your game and kill those 3yrs and GET THAT Big 2nd contract! O yea and WIN"

Shoals: Webber would pretend he can eat a giant hamburger.

Dr. LIC: Sacramento is poised to blow next year. that is a prime coaching job.

Recluse: Wait until the lottery. There are very few game-changers in this draft.

Shoals: Magic and Bird need to be on a "Golden Girls" remake.




Shoals: How much better would this Heinekin ad be with a Kool G Rap song?

Dr. LIC: No white girl knows the non-chorus words to "Just a Friend."


Shoals: Sometimes, JVG props his chin up on his mic. JVG doing "One Mic" in hip-hop karaoke is funny to me.

Shoals: Is this a new scary Jew? Did that guy take the place of Adam Silver?

Dr. LIC: Bilas is already convinced Derozan won't be picked early enough.

Shoals: Bilas is still trying to atone for Josh Smith.

Recluse: Hey, Ty Keenan, is Harden really a better NBA prospect than Derozan?

Ty Keenan: He's just more polished, but Derozan's ceiling is much higher

Shoals: POLISHED LIKE A SEAL

Ty Keenan: Anyway, Harden plays sorta like Roy did towards the end of his time at U-Dub, but not nearly as consistent and just worse in general.

Shoals: What does Blake Griffin do in the dark that determines his greatness? Shit like a horse?

Dr. LIC: Wait, Bilas literally has Curry in the top ten? Curry is the next Redick.

Recluse: Does Brandon Jennings have a draft suit advantage since HE LIVES IN ITALY?



Dr. LIC: Lakers are a terrible matchup for Denver. Nugs could beat anyone in the East though.

Recluse: Nuggets would not beat Cavs, dude, come on.

Dr. LIC: The matchups completely favor the Nuggets: Melo cancels out Lebron (bold statement). Dahntay Jones would guard James, too. One-on-one. Billups > Mo Williams. Nene/Birdman >>>>>> ENERGY>>>>> Z and V. Melo is sneakily unguardable.

Ty Keenan: Lebron is loudly unguardable.

Shoals: This isn't worth getting into.


Dr. LIC: C-Webb at the Kings seat is sadder than Jesus at the last supper.

Shoals: In what capacity does C-Webb rep the Kings? Did he retire a King?

Dr. LIC: Also, IF THEY DONT GET THE FIRST PICK it's all his fault why would you put him through that?

Shoals: This is the lamest party in the world.
Dr. LIC: Thorn can't lose. Oh shit: Thorn vs Colangelo in a battle of CANT LOSING!

Ty Keenan: Why is Reggie Jackson a good luck charm?

Shoals: Reggie will work for cereal.

Dr. LIC: Reggie's ego gets him into everything.

Recluse: Kevin Love looks like he's primed for his confirmation.



Ty Keenan: If Silver is there, then who was the other Jew?

Recluse: N: "Who is that ghoul?"

Dr. LIC: Adam Silver is Stern's goon.

[It is revealed that Sacramento has the #4 pick, precipitating various exclamations, many profane.]

Ty Keenan: This is so sad for Webber.

Shoals: They probably hired him to come on because they know he can take it. What hasn't that man been through or been blamed for?

Shoals: When doesn't the #1 overall matter? When the Clippers get it!

Dr. LIC: Griffin is doomed.

Ty Keenan: This guy has definitely never been on tv before.

Recluse: He's never talked to a girl before.

Shoals: He doesn't own a phone.

Dr. LIC: He owns a non-mobile phone.

AT LAST

Feels like I've been waiting all of FD's life for this to turn up.

Proceed below for some Quentin Richardson projection.

UPDATE: Holy crap. Via Zillz, Gerald Wallace with some choice quotes on his future in Charlotte, and the devil that's taken over there:

"My agent called me and he had talked to (GM) Rod (Higgins) and those guys ..." Wallace said. "I said, 'Well, I'm in Alabama with my kids. Call me if I've got to move.' That was it."

"He's trying to break me out of the one-man defensive thing," Wallace said. "He wants all five guys to play defense. ... If you go for those steals and miss and the way you're going to leave your teammates hanging."

Of course, I've edited out the parts where Brown suggests that Wallace is his kind of player, because I'd never believe anything that snake says for a second. And hearing that Wallace is being asked to stop being a "one-man defensive thing" positively sinks my ship.

"FREE DARKO" was stupid, "FREE AMIR" only a matter of time. But at this point in his career, "FREE GERALD" would be as big a downer as I can imagine.