A Fair Share of Rudiment

Some very important corners of the web finally got around today to wondering about Jay-Z paying Dwyane Wade. The explanation has been laid out several places and now linked to where millions of eyes will catch the fever. So that's that. We all know what's up, drugs in the house and no tampering.

Howeeevs (long e), there have been radical developments since "NY State of Mind" stopped ringing in my ears. Namely, LeBron James switched his number from 23 to 6. So now, if Jeezy's paying LeBron prices, he's getting his for 6K a kilo. Not as good as Jay, but everyone knows that Hov is an old, washed-up liar, while Jeezy still occasionally shows up in court documents. Under his alias, Mr. Pickle and Fright, of course. But back to the matter at hand: So now, if the international cocaine market is, as I've always suspected, governed by NBA jersey numbers, then Jeezy is getting a really good deal himself.

That's only one layer of the mystery, as they say. Why would LeBron James go and do a favor for Jeezy, when Jay-Z has been been big brother since before Akron was more than a place from Greek mythology that someone got to visit? That's right, you guessed it: LeBron is going to the Hawks. I know that Jeezy isn't an owner yet, or officially, but how hard would it be for him to purchase a minority stake? Him going to the Hawks allows the coke price to drop for a part owner which means the financial picture for the franchise changes drastically in ways that means going way over the cap is no problem.

When it comes to the world of money and stuff, perception is stronger than reality. That's how a song, which is just a bunch of words, can actually have these real world implications. You know why? Because those lines are really memorable and "NYSOM" was a huge hit. So when deals get determined, it creeps in, insidiously. In the end, Jay's hit-making prowess may have destroyed the future of the Nets. I can't stand it anymore.

This may be tampering but it's also an NBA team funded by drug money. I don't even know where to start with that.

NOTE: THIS IS ALL FICTION.

NOTE: This is my really long and thoughtful piece about this year's tournament.

NOTE: This blog will be pumpin' out more when I'm done with book stuff, in like a week or so. Hopefully.

Rolling Waves

Ken and Dan got together late Wednesday night to try and talk about normal basketball things, like Allen Iverson going back to the Sixers, or the futility of the Nets, or how we like the NBA Today podcast from ESPN.



We tried. But as is usual when Ken and Dan get together, things got a bit weird. A lot weird. So you'll also find talk of John Tesh, Jean Shepherd, and the impact of Carlos Boozer on Ken's life. Amongst other oddities.

Also, at the end, there's the first ever FreeDarko Presents: The Disciples of Clyde NBA Podcast "hidden track." Let's not mention the fact that me telling you about it makes it not that hidden.

Songs from the episode:

"Beyond Comprehension" - Gang Starr
"Weird Fishes/Appregi" - Radiohead
"Stop" - Jimi Hendrix
"Highway of Endless Dreams" - M83
"Somebody Put Something In My Drink" - The Ramones

It's his Pasture

Okay, what's getting lost in this whole LeBron James/Russian tycoon/global tycoon synergy is WHERE THE FUCK JAY FITS IN. For pure spurts and puddles, read Woj's column on Mikhail Prokhorov, which will leave you thinking that Prokhorov is hard (of course), his money questionable (it's Russian), and his grand entrance into the lobby of a NYC hotel nothing short of a Jay-Z video.

Incidental, you say? Did Sean fail, since his token ownership stake failed to get the Nets relocated, or generate that much buzz? What about this: Even if the man mattered very little in this particular case, it's his influence that allows James and Prokhorov to make so much sense together. His presence in this deal may add some residual cred, and make it pop a little more, but it's more a lifetime achievement award. Remember, Jay was the first to take the hustle all the way into the boardroom, and make the boardroom respect it. Forget the kingpin fantasies that made our favorite music. That was the old totem; Jay saw a way to really leverage street smarts, and street branding, in a way that brought him real power.

Is he still the figurehead he once was? No matter what you think of the new joint, the answer is no. He's closer and closer to Russell Simmons everyday. That is, less and less involved in any real manipulation of what we might term "gangter capital." Gangsters by themselves are business rubes, at least once they try and enter the halls of legal money. Capital of all kinds is synonymous with selling out, exactly the reason why anyone trying to be the Next Jordan has to tread lightly: Jordan could get away with anything, and even he ended up a corporatized shell on the public stage.

I believe in the power of music. I believe that Jay-Z inspired a generation to believe that there was no shame in trying to clean up a little and invest back in ventures that didn't have to choose between profit and legitimacy. He made a seamless transition from fake drug kingpin (is mafia even lower than this?), to vague wealthy and influential baller with skeletons in the closet, to the nexus of the board room and the streets in a way that worked for everyone. LeBron wants to be like Jay, not Mike; this Russian fellow finds himself with instant credibility because of the pioneering work done by the man without a pen. When the photo opp happens, he needs to symbolically bless the handshake, because it might be his greatest legacy.

(You try and tell me how "My President is Black" fits in here.)

In other news, I am positively baffled by Flip's "Arenas will have the ball more than eighty percent of the time because we're scrapping Princeton". Isn't that an awful lot already? I know that Butler and the other guards did touch it sometimes, and that Arenas's quickness/quick release means he doesn't stand around so much. But I just don't see how this does anything to encourage a change in Gil's game, or the team's complexion. It's not like he was being denied his touches or discouraged from attacking before. This is what happens when Ziller or Kevin Pelton aren't online early.

Update: Maybe he meant "I want him to control the ball and run the offense, not just fire away or attack." But the comment was about % of the time Gil has the ball, not how patient he is.

Your Need is Now Empty

I'm been having a field day with Russkie-takes-Nets on The Baseline, wandering into Red Dawn territory, and saying that Stern's being bum rushed by the devil he danced with. I have also spent twenty minutes trying to find just the right clip from Deep Blue Sea, preferably the one with the underwear and shark electrocution.

But while America crumbles and the NBA must make a hard choice between its dreams and the nightmare they've become, Tom Ziller has confirmed that LeBron James is "so headed to the Nets." He'd have to do a year in Jersey and then, a New York franchise with absolutely no cash flow problem. Ever. Plus, with Harris, Lee, and Lopez, there's a nucleus on par with anything's Bron's ever had in Cleveland. Most importantly, though, there's absolutely no underestimating what a marketing this team will be. LeBron + Yi + Jay + some guy whose last name is Lopez + international ownership that shows no mercy? All other franchises should resign and quit.

Maybe it's not so clear how this translates into absolute dominance on these shores. Remember, though, that's only a small fraction of the world's population. And they like LeBron. The rest of the world, well, they're pretty much covered, and there's no way what's-his-face is seeing this as anything other than a global market investment. Like soccer or some shit. Perfect storm or way of the future, where eventually the NBA plays for nearly-empty USA arenas (peppered with kids who love the game and were last seen in the KG/Marbury "fun police" ad), while billions come in from overseas.

Note to self: File restraining order against that new Bruce Willis movie.