I find it possibly amazing that Gerald Wallace is in the All-Star Game and Josh Smith should be. We did it. We made it. Our choices have been just. Note: I forgot Durant was a first-time All-Star yesterday because, in my mind, he's been on since Texas. Say that what you will about my love with this game.
Oh wait, Josh Smith didn't get in, it stings me right down to the bone, and you can read all about my feelings and history's folly (committed upon its own head, no less), in this precious column of mine.
I ended up cutting a paragraph that might have been all figurative economics too dry for those parts, so I lay it here. Or at least its essence. Think about this: It took time for hs-ers and Euros (in the wake of KG and Dirk) to become automatic presences in the high lottery. There was still a little bit of lingering skepticism, or at least hesitance. And these were the consensus best few teens the world had to offer. Thus, in theory, in the beginning there was a de facto cap placed on what hs/Euro picks made it in. It was only the cream of the crop, those generally agreed upon as the "next KG" or "next Dirk."
However, it didn't stop there. Once these players moved all the way to the top, the floodgates were opened for the "Maybe Next KG" and "Possibly Maybe Next Dirk." This is how you got Josh Howard and David West going at the end of the first round; high school/Euro picks weren't boom-or-bust by nature, they were made to look this way by a willingness to, in effect, scrape the barrel and push the very logic that had made teams pursue them in the first place. The best ones were gambles on great potential, which had built into it some sense of security. It was much more like the risk built into drafting a college player, just with a different form of assurance. The latter ones gambled without any safety net.
This description is remarkably inexact. But what would have happened if teams had never decided to cross that line and go from the relatively safe teens to those with less and less to recommend them as solid pros? When people talk about some sort of committee that would decide when a player could jump from high school, it seems like what they're really talking about is this alternate reality where all these other prospects never snuck in the cracked door on account of equivocation.
A brief history of my basketball verse feud with author Sherman Alexie: First, Sherman wrote a poem for TrueHoop on his reluctance to see Iverson start in the All-Star Game. Then, I hit back with a pro-AI bucket of rhymes. Now, here's his response to my response. The Monta stuff hurts!
Let me sing for Saint Thomas Aquinas, Who believed truth is found through faith And reason. He would not have been afraid Of the Adjusted Plus-Minus
Or any number that contradicts What we see and what we think we know. The numbers tell us Anderson Varejao Is a quiet star, setting vicious picks
And destroying the offensive schemes Of every team. I’d take that Brazilian Maniac over a million Vince Carters and Tracy McGradys.
The numbers tell us that Kobe is not The most clutch at the end of games (LeBron is Mr. Clutch’s real name, Though you’d be okay with a Dirk jumpshot
Or just a simple pick-and-roll). Some folks think that Monta Ellis Is a star, but the numbers tell us His team suffers when he’s got the ball.
Why do hoops fans believe what they see When there’s no sense weaker than sight? Why do hoops fans take such delight In crossovers and dunks, those simple dreams,
But hardly ever reward those players Like Joe Johnson or Shane Battier, Who have complex and strange games--- Whose skills have layer upon layer?
I’m sick of it! I’m tired and pissed! Well, no, I’m not mad. I’m just bored By those fans who keep track of the score But never realize what they’ve missed.
And why do we give these fans such power When they choose All-Stars without reason? Here’s the tragic truth: This season, Iverson isn’t even better than Luke Ridnour.
I've written some good shit at AOL in my first week. Like, things that would do just fine on this site. Don't believe me? Take a look at these responsible links.
Man, this 1979 ASG clip is amazing. Everyone is fucking huge, long, and from a different body era than the 1980's, 1990's, or today. And then halfway through, there's a commercial for that movie where Clint Eastwood befriends a monkey. Sometimes you wish you could live forever!!!!!!
So maybe you heard, today was the first day of The Baseline, the NBA blog I'm doing for Sporting News along with Sean Deveney and Chris Littmann. If this is news to you, I'm sorry it took so long to announce it here. Today was busy and kind of hectic. No, this doesn't mean the end of FreeDarko. I'll be around, though maybe not as frequently as before. And I still would like to keep getting all these excellent guest posts. Before the bemoaning begins, try reading the thing first. You'll find:
So we will all have it both ways and life will improve on all fronts. Here are a few odds and ends:
-Haven't had time to read this exchange all the way through, but I think these guys are saying that Antoine Walker is the Achilles Heel of all of Malcolm Gladwell's recent writing.
-My main man Wingo is unfortunately without television right now, and is watching some of these games on some computer feed. There's a chat room that runs beside it, and he sent me this moving sequence:
10:37bmoreray:Birdman has the runz 10:37crza:lol@ birdflu - very good 10:37xavierhimself:lol.. NEED SOME SMACK COACH 10:37captainsyracuse:he's got swine flu 10:37hrshakoury:birdman is doing lines in the locker room 10:37offshoreorca:i'm getting a little tired of the birdman drugs joke. he came back, that's tough stuff 10:37snoba77218:birdmans gona play great at the half, got ape *** on JJ Barea, and run off naked before the end of this game 10:37kobejaun420club:maybe str. lining speed 10:38aridresi:birdman brought swine flu back from mexico 10:38elephantplatapusdinosaur:yeah Birdman went through a lot 10:38tonefresh25:birdman is goona take a sh*t on dallas fans 10:38gazbin:anybody like nick drakes stuff?
apparantly nobody did, and gazbin was not heard from again...
First, read Shoals and Joey on AI’s life-altering haircut. Then, relive the parts of Saturday night’s festivities you forgot to complain about with Ty Keenan and Carter Blanchard.
Shooting Stars
Carter Blanchard: Do you think teams like the Bobcats or Grizzlies are upset that they don’t ever get to do Shooting Stars? Ty Keenan: Shooting Stars exists to respect tradition. Greg Anthony would be great on the Grizzlies team.
CB: Is it more embarrassing for Dan Majerle or Lisa Leslie to be in the Celebrity Game? TK: Leslie, because she still plays. Majerle is basically a celebrity now anyway. He could be on Confessions of a Teen Idol.
CB: The Spurs are pretty good. Do they practice this? TK: It might be like the South Park episode where the good baseball teams do badly on purpose so they don’t have to keep playing.
CB: It’s a shame the Suns lost that after making the first five baskets. Majerle's halfcourt shots are impressive just because he swishes them. TK: I also like that Leandrinho shot real halfcourt set shots. They are definitely the most FD Shooting Stars team. CB: Great interview by Cheryl with Detroit. This win is grouped with MVPs, championships, and gold medals. TK: Will Cheryl shave her rows now that Iverson did his?
Skills competition
TK: Did they pick four scoring point guards on purpose? Harris is probably the closest thing to a pure point guard in this group. CB: I’m just shocked that Mo was in this and he was bitching about not being in the game. This is as prestigious, if not more so.
CB: Do you think someday kids today will look back on the TNT theme with the same nostalgia we attach to Tesh? TK: There are too many networks with basketball these days. Plus it's hard to compete with the Pussycat Dolls.
TK: Didn’t Wade have a turnover in this last year? That’s probably when he decided to turn it on. CB: I actually think Jason Kidd’s performance in this last year was a significant moment. TK: Devin Harris is really dealing with those demons even though the Nets don’t have great history in this event. But Mark Cuban would still take Kidd's performance.
CB: Reggie needs to stop acting like this event that has historical significance. Although he really is perfect for pretending this matters. TK: I’m just not sure why he keeps saying everyone is too nonchalant. CB: What is he expecting them to do, scream?
CB: Rose is not excited that he won. He just sighed like his dad was trying to take prom pictures.
CB: Why does the Rookie Game feature incessant screams? TK: They give seats to kids with terrible diseases. CB: People could be getting slaughtered. TK: Did they yell during the Celebrity Game? CB: No.
Three-Point Shootout
CB: The three-point competition is more pressure than taking game-winners, according to Reggie. TK: Kapono will win because this is all he does. I’m not sure he knows this is different from a real game. CB: Do you think he insists on practicing this during the season? They try to run plays and he says “No, I need to work on my moneyball!”
TK: Kenny just called Roger Mason ashy.
Carter’s internet dies for a while
TK: Cook and Lewis tied! More boring shooting! TK: With two Florida teams in blue and red jerseys, this is like the recount. TK: There is nothing more depressing than talking to yourself about the Three-Point Shootout on Valentine’s Day.
TK: Reggie definitely makes all-star scrapbooks. The dunk contest is one page in each, but the three-point competition takes up fifteen.
Dunk contest begins
CB: "To me, it’s gonna be all about his props" is proof positive that Reggie should be fired. TK: Reggie asks for Carrot Top's autograph at every celebrity game.
TK: Cedric Ceballos being a judge gives us a peek at how the NBA would deal with PEDs.
CB: That first dunk by JR was awesome. Has anyone ever done a double-bounce before on the toss? TK: No, yet he got pretty bad scores. I fear what’s to come.
TK: What’s with Rudy’s jersey? Is that a LaRue Martin reference? CB: Are people booing Rudy? That dunk was awesome. How is that just a 42? TK: Oh, Fernando Martin. I still like it as a LaRue reference. And these judges are xenophobic.
CB: Nate gets way too much credit for being short. He did the same thing as JR with one fewer bounce and not on the first try, but he got better scores. TK: Kenny says it’s for extension. Apparently the dunk contest is now gymnastics. CB: I hate short people.
TK: Why is Pau helping Rudy? Sergio Rodriguez must be crying right now. CB: This dunk is taking way too many tries. TK: They are arrogant like the Spanish Armada. CB: Why wouldn’t he do the foot thing?
CB: I know people who did Nate’s boost dunk in middle school. TK: He's totally pandering. Maybe Dwight will dunk off a ladder to show that he's tall.
CB: Isn’t it against the rules for Dwight to dunk on a non-regulation rim? TK: That is not 12 feet. CB: Why are they acting like it isn’t common knowledge that he can dunk 12 feet? And why are they letting him use so many props? I’m so angry.
TK: Nate is wearing green because he’s doing something involving a leprechaun. Oh wait, it’s for kryptonite. CB: I’m just angry. I can’t enjoy this. TK: Nate is the guy from Superman IV.
CB: Reggie thinks the free-throw dunk from a 6'11'' guy won’t look good. TK: Wasn’t that just the Superman dunk last year?
CB: I’m done with Nate Robinson. JR had the best dunk. TK: Cheryl asked him what his strategy was. That’s easy: “I am short.”
BREAKING: First huge trade. I like to think this means Miami gets a center, straightens out their frontcourt for Beasley's sake—though Ziller points out that Brad Miller could've done the same thing for cheaper—and the Raptors now get their run on. It also depends on how much you believe Marion and JO are "done" or, for the purposes of this site, irrelevent. It would be funny if this lead to the real creation of "Suns North", with Marion once again the lynchpin of it all. Would say more, but I'm off to see Joan Rivers.
I have a celebrity birthday to tend to this weekend, on top of Valentine's Day, so I'll be low-key until my Sunday TSB column sums it all up. There might be a live-blog but at some point, but for all intents and purposes you can consider this an All-Star Weekend open thread.
To get you in the mood:
-Read me at The Sporting Blog, where I've been writing a decent amount about this weekend.
-Those zany Jupiters now have their own site, and a 2009 version of their annual All-Star role call.
-Me, among much bigger names, on a virtual ESPN mag panel on the Dunk Contest. My answers were edited, and this was all before J.R. Smith was in, but it's nice to see my name up in lights like that.
Unrelated:
I spent the first part of the week in Portland, including a Powell's experience was overwhelming in every way imaginable. Also, big ups to the Comcast post-game television show. I read this novel once in college about a Nazi doctor who fucked with people's vocal chords to the point where their ability to speak (and thus think and exist) was reduced to something primordial, and with it, he felt like he was getting at human nature itself. That's what "Talkin' Ball" is like when the comedian is on.
The game I took in on Wednesday, which I wrote up here, really illustrated something myself and Ziller have been talking about. Greg Oden had 10 rebounds, almost all of them memorable. Jared Bayless chipped in a career-high 8 assists, and I only recall one or two of them. This brought me back to a conversation Tom and I had, where I pointed out how easily, maybe even unimpressively, LeBron had racked up his assists in his MSG showcase (like that it's not even a Knicks game?). His contention was that very few assists stick with you; I took it further, and now firmly believe that consistent production in either assists or rebounds is almost always ambient in nature, occurring seamlessly within the flow of the game. These plays only stand out if they are either flawed, or risky and thus imperfect in the formal sense, or dramatic, which usually comes with one or both of these other two characteristics.
When Oden's active, his springiness and size are truly awe-inspiring, but they're made all the more evident by how often he bobbles a rebound, or has to go up twice to reel it in. On the other hand, Russell Westbrook—who takes my "blocks like he's dunking" axiom and applies it to rebounding—was a monster on the glass, but almost always lept in out of nowhere, or over multiple Blazers. Obviously this "noteworthiness" is better than the other not only because it works, but because it's intentional, rather than accidental. In Bayless, you have assists showing up in the most "ambient" way possible. Tom pointed out that Chris Paul has plenty of these, two, and that his highlights often result from exploiting opportunities others can't see. This is familiar FD territory, I know, so I'll shut up after this: Contrast that with Nash, whose pre-Shaq assists always stick with you. That's because almost all of them are risks, based on assertiveness rather than patience, and often take unfamiliar paths.
Anyway, happy weekend, and keep us in your thoughts!
Real quick, and maybe better designed for the Twitter: When they first announced HORSE, I was deathly afraid this was going to turn into some racial bullshit. I mean, what gave that away harder than the "no dunks" rule, buried deep in the press release? The reason I objected to everyone's jittery Kevin Love nomination is that, like it or not, trick shots are the result of practice. That's (EDIT:) self-fulfilling gym rat shit, and it's almost unreasonable to expect anyone else in the field to pull off your ace in the hole.
Now, to draw an analogy I absolutely hate myself for, it's classical music from a score. Putting Durant, Mayo and Johnson in there, is—arghhh—improvisational. Instead of all aspiring to a set-piece one dude knows like his own hand, you'll have weird combinations of elements emerging on the spot. Okay, so maybe these three will do some preparation, but not like how the Other Horse would go down, or how they would do for the Dunk Contest (P.S. the "white" HORSE with, say, Love, Miller and Dunleavy would be the white Dunk Contest). Am I falling victim to stereotypes here myself? Maybe. Durant could very well decide he has to win this one. But given the kind of players, and personalities, these three are, you know they're not going to come with anything corny, or a shot that it's clear they've spent their whole life working on. I'm thinking lots of high-bounced, backboard use, and range. Like the Dunk Contest of consummate scorers. Now that's got a solid ring to it.
If you've been reading this site for a minute, or haven't but found yourself inexplicably drawn to it, you're probably familiar with this timeless clip:
Stage set. When I was on the road, I met this guy in New York who swore that he and his friend had kept this torch alive, recording their own awkward, lo-fi, partly freestyled, and did I mention, very white, homages to these perfect nine minutes of Ultramag weird/NBA classic synergy. He got in touch with me over the weekend and blessed me with mp3's of their efforts, as well as assurances that the 2009 edition is on its way. So without further anticipation, here's Doug S. and friend down through the years:
While you won't exactly hear the recent history of rap played out in these tracks, there is definite evolution as they, I don't know, figure out how to use a computer and control their voices. Even if you don't get all the way through all of them—and you should—at least respect the monk-ish devotion and triumph over god-given limitations. Not to proselytize, but this just might be the FD version of the inspired fan jingle.
P.S. New post later today or early tomorrow. Also, the FD Twitter is so on and poppin' that it warrants getting an account.
HOLY GRAIL ALERT
Video of the 1976 Spirits of St. Louis team, one of those ones that got away from my lifetime.
